ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize