they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
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Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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