Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
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