Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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