Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
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The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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