just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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