she woke up with a sticky ear
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize