margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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