You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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