hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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