Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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