Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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