I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
as a side note pls kill me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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