Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize