I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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