I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize