I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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