I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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