Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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