Your tits are I can't wait for
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
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There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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