Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
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Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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