Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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