I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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