Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
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Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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