some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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