He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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