He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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