It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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