Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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