Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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