I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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