it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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