So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she told me i tasted like america
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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