does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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