I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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