You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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