I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize