garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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