you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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