I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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