i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize