I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
im on a boat
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