I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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