just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so let's talk penis.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize