Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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