woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
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Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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