just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize