The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
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Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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