Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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