i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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